To be honest, I had intended to start writing again mainly to help me along my personal journey towards deciding whether or not to freeze my eggs. Document my thoughts, my feelings, my highs and lows. Help others feel empowered that they can take charge of their lives. But as life got in the way, as emotions broiled and as my heart continued to break in a small amount of time, I went ahead and made a decision (live and learn, Chidi).
Here is where I am now.
My name is A (yes I am aware there may be people out there who don’t like me, so, A for anonymity), I am 33 years of age (old just makes it sound … old), heartbroken (get to that later, maybe), and I’ve decided to freeze my eggs (getting to that now).
OK, freezing eggs. What’s that mean, you say?
The most basic yet sort of technical description of egg freezing: “… it involves stimulating the ovaries [= a female’s reproductive organs] with hormones to produce multiple eggs, retrieving these eggs from the ovaries and taking them to a lab where they are cooled to sub-zero temperatures to be thawed at a later date.“
And my additional and slightly personal translation of that description and also to include a reference as to what actually happens where “freezing” as a description doesn’t really cut it (and refer to the equally descriptive image above):
” … it involves sticking a needle through my vagina a few times over a couple of weeks to make some eggs [like, at least 20] and putting them in a freezer so if I meet some “fuck it close enough to right” guy then I might, just might, have a chance to do what all of my girlfriends did like, [5-10] years before me, that is, if I want to do it.“
So that is the “process” of egg freezing. But of course, I had to jump onto a consultation with the lovely doctor, to get to know my situation, the benefits, the risks, the money and timing. I was also given two weeks to help me think about it and do my research. I got back to him in a matter of one and a half.
I did however have the 5% right of mind to scribble down some of the practical items that are really specific to my situation. Here goes, subject to changes:
- Kick out the birth control pill from my daily routine for a week and induce breakthrough bleeding, i.e. be “normal” and bleed like a normal female. Just FYI, I’ve been on the birth control pill for a few consecutive months without a break, which isn’t good, so, don’t do that. It was funny to hear that I had to give my body a “rest” and just let it bleed (which by the way for me means abnormally acute pain and leakage, hence the original and ironically late in life decision to try the pill for the first time a few months ago). No rest for the wicked, I suppose. Day 2 today, by the way, the “resting” really sucked and I felt low. Really low. 50% work stress, 50% resting equals low.
- Monitor this resting period for a week and let the doctor know of any issues. Joked with him that I’ve too many of those and that I’ll keep them to the physical, but pretty sure he chose not to acknowledge that poor attempt at humour to deal with my real underlying emotions. Not in his scope after all.
- Book my flights. At least two weeks back home because it’s cheaper and more reliable than getting it done here in Hong Kong.
- Let my boss know, I mean, ask if it will be okay that I will be back home for two weeks and ideally not have to share why.
- Start the birth control pill again two days before my arrival back home.
- Get a whole bunch of blood tests done (by a bunch, I mean, 11, plus 5 optional ones) before the injections start. Still deciding whether to do that here in Hong Kong first or back home. All signs point to home.
- Don’t buy anything stupid between now and December and save some money.
- Don’t lose my shit between now and December and save some heart.
More on all of this soon.
Life freezing. 